Changes

Bob and I want to have another baby, so for the past 2 weeks I've been tapering my lithium dosage. I reached the midway point on Thursday and I'm down to one 300mg pill a day. On Halloween I will no longer be taking lithium, and I will hopefully be pregnant. The earliest I can test is in one week. (Stoked!)

Even though it hasn't been that long, I can already notice a bunch of changes:

- I have very little desire to eat all day, often having to force myself to eat breakfast, and then an overwhelming desire to eat chips and candy ravenously for about an hour or two in the evening. Not the best diet for when trying to conceive. I have been taking my prenatals though!

- I have no motivation to do the things I used to do before. I went a full week without taking a shower. I have no desire to prepare meals, (which is because I'm never hungry,) I do the absolute bare minimum for cleaning up the house. I don't know when I last scooped the little box.

- My energy peaks at about 9 pm and can last until 2 in the morning. I used to go to bed at 11pm. My body and my brain are not in sync when it comes to sleep. I'm getting 2-3 hours less sleep a night which is actually a big deal because those lost hours add up over the week and it's like I missed out on 2 whole nights worth of sleep each week. Insomnia sucks.

- Physical symptoms of constant headaches, neck aches, and shoulder aches are back. I feel run down during the day, especially the morning, and it feels like I'm coming down with something even though I know I'm not.

- I'm hypersensitive to sound. I can hear everything, everywhere all the damn time! I can't fall asleep at night because there's too much noise and I can't turn my brain off. I can't sleep in or take a nap during the day because of those same reasons. And when the extra kids are here, omg, I can't think straight. They're so effing loud! Every little noise they make just makes me think I'm going to lose my mind. Deep breathing does help me relax a bit, but I can't meditate because there's constantly too much going on, even at 2 in the morning.

- I don't feel any more irritable than normal, but Bob says I am slightly more irritable than normal.

- I have heartburn now for some reason.

I can definitely make it through 2 more weeks of this before going to see the psychiatrist again. It feels manageable. I mean, I've definitely felt worse than this! Tesla's getting everything she needs and I still enjoy playing with her. I go outside almost every day.

Sometimes I feel more overwhelmed than usual, but I've learned to take that as a sign to slow down and try to focus on one thing only and not 30 things. Or sometimes I just sit down and play a game of Catan online. I always feel better and ready to work after a good game of Catan. And of course I'm not afraid to delegate jobs to the daycare kids or Bob! That helps too!