I'm Probably Dying

I think I'm depressed or something. Tomorrow I will have had 5 days off in a row and I was sick, sick, sick, for all of them. Why do I always get sick during long weekends? It's just not fair.

Day in and day out I'm confined to these 4 white walls never able to do anything about it. I finally get nearly a week off and I'm stuck at home anyway because I'm too sick to leave the house! I just can't believe it.

None of the house work got done over the weekend. I still feel too weak to clean up much. I slept about 2 hours total last night and I'm not going to get any sleep during the day today for obvious reasons.

My sinus's are killing me and it's hard to breathe. I've gone through 3 boxes of tissues. My ears are ringing, my whole body aches, especially my head and neck. Last night I was sweating one minute, shivering the next. My thirst has been unquenchable for days. My skin, eyes, lips, and mouth are bone dry. I actually woke up with no saliva in my mouth this morning. I could barely swallow. I felt feverish, but didn't have a fever.

I loathe taking pills, but I've tried sinus medication, ibuprofen, expired ephedrine, and herbal sleeping pills. Nothing has worked. I cried for hours last night, exhausted, and a little scared. It felt like I was dying. That feeling of not getting enough air is really freaky.

Tesla's so easygoing, she'll jump in her exersaucer for hours, but I feel guilty ignoring her all day. I'm doing less than the bare minimum. She's fed and in a clean diaper, but that's all I've got. She actually took her morning nap on the living room floor because I didn't have the energy to go through the whole routine properly of reading a story, singing a song, rocking, and placing in her crib with the mobile on. When she started fussing to be put down for her nap, I threw a throw blanket on her and she eventually put herself to sleep.

I can't be like this for when the daycare kids come on Wednesday. I've got 30 hours to rid my body of all toxins and heal myself of this horrible illness.